WRITTEN BY IFE GRACE
Ife, I fell in love with this guy at my church. I don’t want to remember how we met, such memories are useless right now. Here’s the bad part. I am married. You heard me. I am married.
In church, we pretend like everything is fine but virtually, we chat almost every day.
This guy is fine Ife. He has a brilliant mind and…physically, he is breathtaking… Ehnn God!!
I wanted to be with him than with my husband. Naturally, I’m a talker and I have plenty of energy to dispense but with hubby, I became so introverted, preferring my privacy than being with my man.
Oga became worried.
‘I’m sorry I’m like this. It’s a season of silence and reflection.’
Thunder fire season. It was a big fat lie… How do you explain the switch when I am on a video call with my side chick (abi is that not what they call it), laughing and screaming in excitement at his jokes?
You know the interesting thing? In church, we behaved like we didn’t know each other. It annoyed me sometimes. The way he became so formal with me.
‘Sister Esther, how are you doing today? God bless you.’ he’d say with such this serious facial expression.
Some other times, he’d ignore me completely.
The comparison came afterwards. My husband has been trying to get this promotion. I knew he was working really hard and his boss was making life difficult for him. I really didn’t care. All I saw was a lazy and complacent man. I was blinded by my desires.
I knew this other guy’s itinerary even though I was not his PA o…He’d send me pictures of his awards, his promotion letters, his trips. I think I knew his movements more than his wife who at that time was residing in Canada.
Some months ago, I travelled to Lagos for a conference and at the same time, he had a function in Lagos. I had an amazing time. He spoilt me big time and I started to feel like I should have met him before my husband.
God! I enjoyed his company so much!
After one of those evenings, he drove me back to my hotel room and right there at the car park, he held my hands.
‘Please can I kiss you?’
I wanted that to happen. The chemistry was so strong… I almost wanted to plead with him to follow me to my hotel room.
But God had mercy on me! My phone beeped and it was right on my laps. I don’t know why I picked up my phone and opened the text message.
It was from my husband.
‘Sweetheart, this is me checking up on you. Just want to say I love you and miss you.’
It was as if someone poured cold water on my body. I came back to my senses.
How did I get here? Jesus! What was I about to do with this married man? Did I not make a commitment to stay faithful to my husband? How on earth could I have allowed this to happen?
I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
‘Are you okay? You look stressed. Come give me a hug.’
Oh God, Ife!!! I knew where that hug could lead to. For the first time, I thought about his wife and what she would think of me in her husband’s arms. I thought about my husband. If I went down that path, I knew I’d never be able to forgive myself.
When I opened the door and said I needed to rest, He didn’t want me to go. ‘Baby, did I say anything that pissed you off?’
Baby keh? Are you insane? who is your baby?
I didn’t say that aloud sha.
I got down and went to my room. Immediately I reported myself to my mentor. I needed help.
Sincerely, my relationship with my husbad was just there. There was no life, no excitement… We were not fighting in that sense but I was bored…
I was not looking forward to seeing him when I returned from work. I was pretending to be happy but I wasn’t. Marriage was like a heavy burden. Even our devotion was dry and religious.
‘Take some days off work and be alone with God in prayer and fasting. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you what to do. Here’s the point where the supernatural will superimpose on the natural.’ My mentor said.
The first night at the hotel, After analyzing how quickly I had drifted, I raised my hands and shouted…
‘Jesu, Saanu funmi… ahh! The devil will not ruin my life ooo.’
The instructions came shortly before midnight. The words were rushing at me like water from a running tap.
Meditate on 1 Corinthians 13:3-6;
Every morning, pray Ephesians 3:17-19;
Let your husband’s picture be visible everywhere. On your phones. Your tab. Laptop. Put up a small frame of his picture on your work table;
Set alarm to achieve this. Get DDK’s Kingdom of words and declare the confessions daily;
Bless your husband every morning before he leaves for work;
Build a routine around this, not random actions;
Get a journal and as you spend more time with me, I’ll give you great ideas;
You’ve not had quality time with me in a while. Enough of the quick prayers and ten minutes devotional reading that you do religiously.
Spend quality time with me;
When you are far away from me, it will affect every other area of your life. With my manifest presence filling your heart, it will overflow to your husband…For the next 60 days, 4am-6am is mine;
Send all these instructions to your mentor. She is your accountability partner;
When I finished writing all the instructions, I felt better. Immediately, I got to work. No time to waste.
It didn’t take two weeks before I began to notice a shift in my perspective. I’ll glance at my husband and he’ll look different. Most importantly, my relationship with God deepened.
Ife, carrying out those instructions were difficult at first.
My husband would annoy me and the Holy Spirit will be like, ‘Give him a kiss and tell him how much you love him.’
I’ll fight and struggle but I’ll do it. Whenever that happened, something always shifted.
Days when I’ll wake up at 4am on and sleep will be heavy in my eyes. But I’ll have to wake up regardless.
My husband and I started to talk more. I would be at work and my heart would long to be with him. So I noticed, the more I spent time enjoying my devotion with God, the stronger and more passionate I was about my husband.
After several times of not responding to that married man’s chats, he sent me a text message. Something he had never done.
‘Babe, he said. I miss you so much. My heart aches every time I see you in church and I have to restrain myself from taking you to a corner and pulling you into my arms. When will you stop running away from me? I want my friend back. ‘
I heard the Holy Spirit say in a loud voice.
‘Do you trust that I see far ahead into the devil’s strategy?’
‘Block him everywhere.’
I didn’t even waste time. No sentiments biko. I blocked his lines. Blocked him on WhatsApp. Blocked him on facebook and Instagram.
As you see me like this, the Holy Spirit and I in this marriage ehn, we are best buddies.
Honour marriage and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. Hebrews 13:4 (Message)
What you give attention to amplifies.
This year has not been a active one on this space but by God’s Grace, things will take a supernatural divine turn.
Another Year knocks at the door and with it is coming a better and revived version of Peculiar-Inspiro.
Be on the lookout for refreshing moments in God’s presence.