FAMILIAR ENEMY (EPISODE 12) Written by Glorie Adepoju
The following day, I cleaned and arranged the house, as we got ready to leave the state and return home. I emptied the trash container in Aunty BB’s room and something in it caught my attention. A medicine container, it still had some tablets in it. I don’t know why, but I took it.
We finally got back home. Uncle Ade was elated when he returned from his trip days later. The extended families came and celebrated the new addition to the family.
The medicine container I found kept coming to mind. Out of a curiosity I couldn’t explain, I discreetly took the medicine to the pharmacy and inquired about it.
The pharmacist explained what it could be used for, and then he said something that made me speechless.
“Pls this kind of medicine should be taken with precaution, strictly according to the prescription. Wrong dosage can be detrimental, leading to excessive bleeding and loss of life.”
It kept ringing in my head that Aunty BB mentioned that Juliet had bled to death.
….
“She killed her?!” Jumoke asked in shock, her hands covering her mouth, her eyes wide open.
“Yes, she had every reason to. I have never recovered from the fact that the voice I had heard in my spirit, was the Holy Spirit, and I didn’t heed it. If I had I obeyed, Juliet would have had a chance to escape. Aunty BB’s plan to deceive her husband would have been exposed. Mayowa might never have had to be in this family, he’ll still be alive. Juliet would have been alive as well. I lost the chance to save Juliet, the realization that I had the chance to save Juliet and I didn’t, continues to haunt me. I don’t know, but each time I think about it. I played a huge part in her death. The Holy spirit warned me, but I just waved it off!”
“You have nothing to be guilty about. You didn’t kill her. Let me ask you, have you repented before God for disobeying Him?”
“Yes, every…chance…I…get.” I said between sobs.
“Then God has long forgiven you…”
“But God is punishing me, I keep paying the price for my disobedience, first Juliet’s death, now Mayowa.” I said in tears, letting out a heart-breaking cry.
“Stop beating yourself up about it. God is not punishing you. Accept His forgiveness. God loves you deeply. All things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose.”
“What good can be in the death of an innocent boy?!”
“I don’t know, I don’t have any answers. What I know and will choose to believe is that God is good. The word of God says Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever. You must believe that God is good, not because you feel so, or even think so, but because He word says so. His word would not lie.”
For a while my sobs filled the silence, she reached for my hand across the table.
“Eki, in this moment of grief, all the enemy wants to do is to make sure that you doubt the faithfulness of God. He wants to see you lose confidence in that same word of God that has been your guide. Can’t you see that this is what the enemy is doing?. No, not on my watch, God helping me, that would never happen. I want you to say after me, I thank you Jesus for You are good, because Your word says ‘Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, and His love endures forever’. Pls don’t say it if you don’t believe it.”
I knew the scripture by heart, Psalm 107;1. Yet, I couldn’t repeat the words, the pain in my heart wouldn’t let me. I kept my head bent, the tears flowing, she waited patiently. I fought the doubt choking me, the pain and the grief engulfing me.
“Holy Spirit help me.” I screamed inwardly
I shut my eyes tightly. The events of my life played itself before me.
I saw it vividly, God has been there with me, watching out for me, even when I didn’t deserve it.
Back to the present, with my head bent I cried harder. God had been good to me, even before I knew and accepted him. How could I have forgotten how His love had kept me?
I lifted my head and looked at Jumoke. Regardless of the ache in my heart, and the pain still fresh, God is good, I believe it. I found strength to voice my thoughts.
“I thank you Jesus, because Your word says ‘Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, and His love endures forever. I believe it, in my grief, God is good, He has been good, He is good, and He would always be good, regardless of what I feel, because His word says so” I said with confidence amidst tears. Jumoke tightened her grip on my hands.
“Thank you, Jesus,” she whispered,
“Let this be your confession and thus your reality. Don’t lose your joy honey” she added, I nodded.
“Mayowa is in a better place.” I said softly, the ache deepened in my heart, but I still repeated the words.
“Let’s worship Jesus together in songs.” Jumoke suggested.
“Great idea” I said nodding my head in agreement.
Together we raised our voices to heaven in one accord, slowly, ever so slowly, my attention shifted from the weight of my burden to the awesomeness of Jesus. I poured out my heart more in songs of worship as tears ran down my cheeks. I felt a refreshing.
…to be continued…
pEn&pApEr
GLORIEADEPOJU
